Girls Night Out 5.0
Whenever I'm with these people, the anthem of my night becomes Ke$ha's TikTok. Haha. I do not like that song, but it perfectly describes the craziness and awesomeness that happens. Hahaha.
We met up again at Rue because that's our hobbit hole whenever we're all in town. We had our usual Big Ass Caramel Beers, but this time around, the waiter gave us shots... because Carms decided to tell Mr. Waiter a particular dude found him hot. Haha So, at first he got back at the dude by giving him a shot, then I became a victim because I couldn't stop laughing. Oh my. Hahaha. My happiness became my downfall. The conversations were still (and will always be) crazy open and weird. We were able to catch up with each other's lives and it was great! I find myself regretting decisions with these guys, but at the end of the day, I know I had an awesome awesome time. Haha. So, yeah, I guess I don't actually regret it... Haha. I miss these peeps and I'm happy we get to see each other despite the busy schedules. We raise our glasses to the fun we always have when we're together! Woot!
Throwback: "A Decade Under Influence"
I was thinking about how long I've been friends with these two and I cannot believe we've come so far. Yah, we're all in different countries now and we're all focused on making a life, but nothing has changed. I don't talk to them often. We barely have 3-way Skype calls. We haven't been in the same room since... i don't even remember. It's all good though because the memories will always keep us together no matter what. That's only a part of why I cherish these two people. Hsiang, Lexy, and I have this bond that can never be replaced and I know that 100%. There are moments when I just have to thank God for them because they remind me how awesome life actually is. Let's put it this way, they will always be the ones who 'didn't listen.' They will always be the ones who stood up for me. They will always be the ones who confronted me first. They will always be the ones who went through heaven and hell for me to find my passion. To sum up everything, I am who I am today because of these two. God knows how much I praise them for that.
When it comes to the reality of friendship, it's these dudes who really gave me the most genuine meaning of it. We really did grow up together, it's as simple as that. We had numerous loooong and late night raids on WoW. We formed a band. We made small businesses. We helped each other cheat in tests. We did each other's projects. We would talk like there was no tomorrow. We had drunken nights and inside jokes. We had early morning drives to 7/11 just to eat or drink or smoke. We had sleepovers wherein all we did was laugh and air drum / guitar to Taking Back Sunday. We shared accounts on itunes. We have an unhealthy amount of selfies together. We were constantly in each other's lives and that really formed a bond between us and until today, even if we're far apart from one another, that bond is still there.
We each have our insecurities and stories to tell. It's not like we had easy lives either, but we made it easy for each other. There were nights we'd talk about our troubles and we really listened to each other. Of course we hit really huge bumps in our friendship, but we made it through. Those were really bad bad bumps, but because they were such good friends (and people), hurting each other was the last thing in our minds. I know that because we always found ways to confront each other when it was truly needed. We most definitely make time for each other. We still do.
How awesome is it to have 2 friends who make sure your life is always as awesome as it should be?
LEGO MOC: Mecha Suit
This is my first attempt in making a Lego Mecha! Woot! I still need to collect certain pieces, but I think this is good enough. I think it looks pretty bad ass for a first time Mecha builder. Haha. I had fun making this. Way too much fun!
Lego Love: Mixels
My niece came home from Jakarta and decided to get me a gift (pasalubong). She bought me my first Lego Mixel. From there, I started collecting because I found them so cute. Haha. They're short builds, but they're totally worth it because it makes your imagination go wild. Haha. I want more!
Lego Love: Battlefrontin'
We've all crossed paths with DIFFICULT PEOPLE. The Bullies, The Haters, The Big Mouths, The Drama Queens, The Snobs, Etc.
Have you ever heard of the Kübler-Ross model? I'm sure you have! This is the model that explains the stages of grief. It's usually linked to the emotions of having someone pass away, but it's safe to say, this model pretty much explains what we all go through when we go through something very difficult. Let's briefly go through the explanation of this model. According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when someone we care about passes away, a person goes through these stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. She also mentions that it doesn't necessarily have to be in that order. Makes sense right? Awesome! So, that's the Kübler-Ross model in a nutshell. Now, think about it, these stages don't only happen with death, but it happens with every bad experience that shakes our foundation and humanity. In these kind of situations, there are 2 or more people involved. The ones who deliberately cause negativity for their own pleasure are difficult.
We've all crossed paths with DIFFICULT PEOPLE. People who are mostly aggressors. The Bullies, The Haters, The Big Mouth, The Drama Queen, The Snob, The Constant Complainer, The Two-Face, Etc. (By the way, I got all those terms from Jon P. Bloch's book, Handling Difficult People). I'm sure you know a bunch of them. I think the Kübler-Ross model is the perfect starting to point to explain the 'sensitive' subject of Difficult People.
Before anything else, let's make it VERY clear that we ALL make mistakes. Let's take out the murderers and against-the-law stuff, okay? In the 'NORMAL PEOPLE' scale, we've all done something that offended or hurt someone, but we've also been victims of people offending or hurting us. Common sense, right? Being the victims of something that hurts us to unexplainable levels, we eventually go through the stages of grief. We deny we're hurt - we pretend we're fine and show the whole world how awesome it is to be alive, but deep down inside you know it's all a lie. We get angry - this one is obvious. We bargain - we find ways to compromise with ourselves so the pain isn't so brutal. The most typical is making jokes or laughing about it. We become depressed - the pain is overwhelming and the situation is actually hitting you. We accept - we move on and we can now face the world with a positive attitude.
Here comes the awesome part and I hope this will save people a lot of damage when it comes to difficult situations, especially with difficult people. Since the Kübler-Ross model is proven by science [Psychology], I think the puzzling part about these difficult people can be found within the Kübler-Ross model explanation. I've been observing this for so long and I can't deny the common ground amongst these difficult peeps. A lot of them didn't cross the threshold to the Acceptance stage. People misunderstand the notion of Acceptance. Here's something from Psychology Today, "Finally, the word acceptance does not mean that we accept a damaging behavior. What it means is that we try to acknowledge the dark as well as the light so that by that acknowledgment, we can make necessary changes. Only when we treat something with respect and accept it rather than rejecting it can we bring about necessary change. Rejecting something brings about more guardedness and resistance, therefore creating more of what we don't like. Also, avoidance and rejection cover up the real problem." I don't have to state the obvious... but it's clear when people Avoid rather than Accept. This is very clear because these difficult people are unconsciously showing it for the whole world to see. What are these clear signs? They don't respect certain situations. They cannot acknowledge the dark as well as the light. Ergo, they haven't actually changed, despite them saying they have changed.
All of these things I've talked about go down to ONE SIMPLE POINT: You have to learn to accept.
Acceptance is when you know you're living a healthy and good life. You really can't fake these kind of things because it will eventually show. When you reach adulthood, this is important because life becomes complicated, but it doesn't have to be hard. Bad things happen, obviously. We can't avoid it, but we have full control of how we deal with these bad situations. People forget that. It's not up to anyone on how we DO THINGS. No one actually forces us to anything. You go to work because you know that's the right thing (because you have to pay pills and make a living), but it's also your choice to skip work. People can tell you to skip work, but the final choice is always up to you. It's as simple as that. Choose to accept.
Lying to yourself does so much damage to your mindset. We don't give it much importance because of the influence of media and society. Remember that you're only part of this society and it shouldn't affect your identity. As much as the topic of culture plays into our identity, you're still your own person. You may have committed huge mistakes or someone may have committed huge mistakes towards you, but at the end of the day, the truth about yourself comes out with how you deal with it. You know things are going to be okay because you've crossed the threshold to Acceptance. The best part is you made the choice by yourself. You're finally better. You can finally move on, forgive, and let go. Do yourself a favor, make yourself proud.
Until Dawn: 8 / 10
So, let's talk about this game! If you're expecting some Silent Hell meets Tomb Raider, don't. Haha. If you're expecting some really awesome role playing game that makes you think like there's no tomorrow, don't. BUT. If you're expecting to play a 'sit back and enjoy the storyline' kind of game that won't make you press a whole lot of buttons to escape the protagonist, then you'll love this game. Haha. Okay, for real now. I actually enjoyed this game because I'm a huge sucker for horror flicks. So, this game is all about the storyline and how you get to choose what to do. It's exactly like Beyond: Two Souls where you're placed in exciting situations and you have to choose this or that and while the characters are running you need to press Triangle, then X, then Square.
Why the 8/10 then? It doesn't sound like an exciting game... other than the pretty good twists and storyline.
I gave it an 8/10 because of the production value. It was pretty obvious Supermassive went through a whole lot of effort and trouble to bring awesome animation, production design, and character design. I'm not joking though... the animation is SO GOOD. If you're a gamer, you'll understand this. It's amazing to see the 'responsiveness' of characters, especially when things get exciting and all. They did a really good job with capturing the little details of the real actors. Then, I'm a huge huge fan of production design in video games. It's fun to see the environmental design in games because it OBVIOUSLY brings life to the gameplay. Ick factor? They nailed it. Scary environment and tight spaces? Nailed it. Do I recommend others to play it? Not really. It's not for everyone, only because it's not the typical action packed-gotta memorize the controls kind of game. But if you're into horror movies and you like the kick, then you need to play this game. Gamer or Non-Gamer!
Do you ever have those moments where your mind is on overdrive because you feel so passionate about something? I'm on that roll right now. I tried to sleep because I'm feeling very tired, but my mind won't let me. It's all because I've been feeling something very strong and powerful lately. I guess it's that time my mind, heart, and body are all screaming these words at the same time: "What the hell are you waiting for?" While building with Lego, I Really Want It by A Great Big World played on my Spotify. It amplified everything that's been on my mind and I couldn't push it away anymore. Talk about perfect timing...
I don't know about you, but I'm so positive and sure about myself. I think I've done enough soul searching already. If I do anymore, I'll just keep going in circles. I know exactly who I am. I know my weaknesses and strengths. I also know what drives me absolutely insane. In short, I'm so ready to change my life again. There are so many things right now that are causing me emotional turmoils and spasms of angst. To sum up everything, I am bottling up so much right now and I know exactly what this does to me. Before I explode and do something stupid, I know I have to get ahead of my issues and do SOMETHING. This is where it's all coming from. I'm fed up of being in this place and it's not the kind where I can push it away and laugh about it. Nope. I'm actually at the end of my rope and I need to do something HUGE. There are a list of things I've been wanting to do, but I've been so skeptical because there aren't enough signs to push me to do it (or things happen and I need to push them aside for a bit until I get my shiznit together). There are also a list of things that I want to stay away from, but it's always in my face. I believe it's time to really do something to push them all away because it's suffocating me to no end. I need to break free from all of this. I really do.
Now? I'm going to get what I want. I'm going to figure it all out and just fight my way through it all because there's no use in waiting. I'm ready to face the consequences because, at least, I tried. I'm ready to break and hurt, just to pick myself up again, because I can. I'm ready to just move my ass because the person I am right now? I'm not happy with this person. This person needs to get away and find exactly what she's looking for. I know what I want, I just need to fill in the details.
Things that didn't bother me before are now creeping into my life and it's really funny because I thought this would never happen. There are things that make more sense now than it did before. The pressure is finally hitting me and wow, it's one heck of a ride. There are things i want to bad right now, I can't sit down and wait for them to come around. I'm making the decision to go get them and finally do something for myself. Don't get me wrong, I do things for myself... but this is different. This isn't about someone bringing me down and I have something to prove. This isn't how someone has crap dangling in front of me and I have this smug look on my face. This is a physical act. What I'm looking for is a GIGANTIC move that will shock me like crazy. I need that boulder of truth to fall on top of me because my life right now... I actually hate where I'm at. Yes, Hate. There are a few things I love, but if you were to ask me about the overall? Nope. I need to get out of this and I'm going to do whatever it takes.
Life is so much bigger and better than this. I know it. Now, it's time to go get it.
Letters to People 1.0
1. I'm sorry for all that's happened, but I don't regret anything. As much as I want to praise you, I won't, because it's not needed right now. I don't blame you for anything in particular, but I can't help but feel a little angst towards the experience. There are things I can't shake off because they were so... I don't even know what word to use... I think the shock of the stupidity didn't go away because you didn't do anything about it. Recently, I was shocked even more because of the bitterness you showed me. I don't know where it's coming from and I really don't want to know because it's none of my business. I'm not going to make someone else's problem my problem, especially after what you put me through. I'd love to help and be there, but I shouldn't. I'm not the right person anymore and it's better that way.
2. My gut is telling me to prepare for something I won't want to hear. So, I'm doing exactly that. Whatever you're about to tell me, if it wrecks me then I know I need to let go. If i'm wrong, then life goes on. A part of me is scared because I know exactly what may happen in these kinds of situations, but you know what? I care about you that much, that i'm willing to go through a little pain just to understand. I'm not afraid of the pain... I can handle those things. It's the aftermath I'm afraid of. It's not about the aftermath of our friendship, but the loneliness that comes with it. I'm counting down the hours until I hear some form of bad news, but yeah, it's all going to be okay because we're both strong people.
3. These are the times I miss you because you were one of the few people I could really open up to. I wish you were still around, but I understand why you're not. It is better this way, but I do hope you're doing well. Very well actually. My curiosity doesn't stretch that far, so I really have no clue what's happening in your life, but I still wish you're doing well. There are so many things I want to tell you and laugh about with you, but it's all okay. One day, I'll bump into you again and maybe you'll finally hear what I've been keeping in for so long. I hope you'll understand and we can walk away with a good amount of closure. I think we both need it.
4. I miss you. I wish you were here. You live so far away and it's not like I can demand you to get online when I need you. I miss our sleepovers and hang outs. I miss laughing with you. We laugh A LOT when we're together. Haha. I miss our deep conversations about life and the afterlife. I miss our secret archaic and angsty rants towards the world. I wish I could go over to your house like I used to and just talk and drink beer and smoke and then laugh again. There's so much I want to share with you and one call isn't enough. We're going to see each other real soon and it's going to be like old times. I miss you, man.
5. I'm waiting for this weekend to end and then you and I will finally talk. I'm going to open up to you because right now, you're the only person who will listen and understand. We're not going to see eye to eye, but I know you'll still give me the best advice. I'm a little scared, but excited, because I've been preparing for this conversation for some time now. I really hope you listen. I pray you listen because you really need to hear what I have to say. I'm getting older and some of the things you've told me is finally hitting me. It's hitting me really hard actually.... so, I think it's about time I opened up about a few things that's been running through my mind.
The Beginnings of Tsong & Tsonggo
The story behind this logo is actually pretty awesome. I met Wil in one of his photoshoots. He was the first talent I spoke to cos he was down to earth and funny. As the day progressed, [I THINK] he started to get comfortable around me, threw me his GoPro and asked me to 'document' the whole shoot. I rolled my eyes (sarcastically of course) because he was making me his yaya (maid). After bonding with him and the rest of the talents, I asked him if he could help get me more clients (cos you know... I'm a workaholic). He said he needed a logo to be done and I got on board with his project. We exchanged contacts and boom, the logo was in action. We met up in the mall and walked around to find inspiration. We sat in Coffeebean and he showed me his first video. I laughed like crazy... and pretty loud... oh well. I suggested we make his logo a character and emblem. We got all excited to see the real deal. After a week, we were editing and adding the logo to his video. Next thing, he's a hit on youtube and people are talking about it. So, all in all, it's really cool to know that a whole bunch of peeps have seen my work even if they don't know the story behind it. Hahaha.
When I pitched this logo to Wil, I suggested we use his 'iconic' American flag bandana which he uses as a scarf in a lot of his photos and videos. He mentioned how he wanted a monkey in his logo as well... so I combined both elements. While designing, I realized how his bandana really makes the logo stand out. Since the monkey is mostly brown, the red, white, and blue gives the image more balance. Choosing the typography for his logo was fun. I knew it had to be something casual and informal because of his style. I also knew Wil was an outgoing, social, and easy going person, so the typography really fit his personality. Overall, I believe this logo really brought out his purpose.
Below is Wil's infamous Salitang Beki (Gay Lingo) Video. Check it out, if you haven't seen it yet: