I went through a tough phase of having no clients and no work for about 3 months and it killed a part of me. My confidence went down and I realized how my brain was becoming more negative by the day. I was being tortured mentally because I wasn't used to being so financially unstable. I started relying on my parents for pocket cash and yup, I was so down. I was feeling some sort of shame and I couldn't take it anymore. I made the decision to give in to corporate slavery because I couldn't live that way anymore. I needed a consistent income, especially if I wanted to get somewhere someday. I also couldn't let go of my whole, "GO GET IT AND DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!" mindset. I started looking for design jobs that paid relatively well for a first time 'office person'. DesignCrowd contacted me and i went through 2 rounds of interviews. At the end, I totally got the job. YES! *fist bump
The biggest questions in my head were, [1] Am I going to stay happy? [2] Will I be able to keep up in an office setting because I know I don't do well in that area, especially if it's all day long? 

It's my 3rd day today and I could say I see myself with this company. I'm doing some training at the moment, but the more they tell me about the company, the more I realize I made the right choice. I made the decision of finally straying away from the graphic design labor work [24/7] and find something that'll allow me to work WITH design. I still create things and work with clients, but my main focus is to potentially reach executive levels in the design industry. I'm always going to love drawing and working with photoshop, illustrator, and indesign. I'm always going to enjoy Art and Design, but it's time I do something more challenging and not be responsible for making designs all the time. 

I'm enjoying the atmosphere and goals of this company. They have a good way of keeping their clients, designers, and employees happy, which is what I've been wondering about for a few months. This is a really good opportunity and I hope I grow with these guys. This is awesome! It's a little funny because I come home tired from all the information overload, but I wake up excited to go to work because I'm so ready to learn more and contribute my insights with these guys. The people in the office are so laid back and awesome, it's hard not to smile! They're a bunch of open minded people and I really like that. Good luck, Carms! Do what you need to do! Woot! Now that I think about it, I didn't really give in to 'Corporate Slavery' because these guys give a different meaning to the corporate world. They give importance to their employees. I really love that about these guys. They're really doing an amazing job. 

Just when I thought Lego couldn't possibly beat the awesomeness of their other modulars... Nope, it was really dumb of me to ever think that... I finally purchased the new Lego Modular Building, The Brick Bank!!! This is Lego's latest release in their modular building set and holy moley, BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ART WORK. Hahaha. 

Okay, the details of this build was insane. I usually don't take long in building these things, but the little pieces to create all the little details made this one slightly painful for my big fingers. Haha. Nevertheless, it was fun (as usual) and I would take it apart to it all over again! Alright, serious time. When Lego announced they were to release the Brick Bank set, I was stoked! What a great addition to their modular set right? I looked at the photos and saw that they had unique pieces like the green windows. I thought, holy crap, if you sell those per piece? You'd be rich in one second... But I don't think I'd be selling any of them because to have a 1st edition set is too awesome for life. While building, I was thinking about all the geniuses that came up with this design because the details are insane. In the past modulars they've released, I was already blown away with what they did, but this time around? I was just flabbergasted. I've only been building recently, so I know I'm not at this level yet. Hence, the shock factor. Haha. I think this one tops all of their other buildings. The design of everything was brilliantly thought of. The color scheme is fantastic. The vault and landry shop is pure genius! I mean come on... who could think of combining a Bank with a laundry shop on the side? Okay, people... but the way lego did it is just AWSOME (or maybe i just look up to these people so much that's why I'm fangirling over this... haha). 

I can't wait for their next modular building to come out. I'm sure it's going to be even more awesome than this one. What a great build. I'm so happy I bought this set! Everyone should purchase it, despite its price tag, because you will enjoy all the little things they placed on this one and it's going to make your imagination go wild! It's worth every buck you spend on it. 

What an awesome awesome Saturday! Thanks Allie for the yummy lunch and awesome celebration! Have many more awesome years ahead of you! Stay the kind and sweet person you've always been! Keep making people smile and laugh cos you're great it! HAPPY BIRTHDAY,  MY FRIEND!!! :D 
By the way, Carlo and I had to take this massive U-Turn because he was thinking too hard while driving. To be fair, he was thinking of very profound things because we were talking about profound topics.... and how upset we are about Binay's rank in the presidential elections poll. Hahaha. Aaand we all played some Roulette and won 100 pesos back thanks to Carlo. Haha. :P 

Thank you for bringing life to Professor Snape and making our imaginations go wild. Thank you for your beautiful voice. Thank you for filling our hearts in Love Actually. Thank you for your awesome performance in Perfume. You know what? Thank you for all the great movies. Thank you for being a great model to so many people. Thank you, sir. 

It's a new year and I didn't focus on my goals last year. I only achieved 1/5. Lame. Haha. I need to achieve my goals this year. I have 365 days! Come on, Carms... You can do it! 

1. Expand your Lego collection and MOCs. This is too obvious, but with how much it takes to expand a Lego collection? You'd think it would be easy-beezy! Nope. Not at all. Hahaha. But I really want to expand my city more. It's always been a dream and it's coming together. So, I need to keep going.
2. Travel to a place you've been dreaming about for the longest time (with a friend or alone). This has been something I've been dying to do and I really want to achieve it before I hit 30. I already have a plan in mind and a friend to go with, but let's see if I can commit to the financing part of it. THAT'S that hard part. 
3. Start playing Football again AND/OR get into boxing. I need some form of outlet because my mind tends to go on overdrive, especially when I'm feeling something heavy. I was talking to my cousin a while ago and she mentioned things I've been thinking about lately. It just solidified everything. I need to find an activity that will allow me to focus and not think about other things. I believe Football and/or boxing will help me. My fear in playing Football again is not knowing if I still have the skill to play it. I don't even remember the last time I played seriously.  
4. Lose 10-15 pounds. Because it's good for my health and it will help with my confidence. 
5. Finally learn how to drive and get your license. It's about time... Hahaha. I've been holding this off for more than 10 years because I never found the need to learn how to drive. I'm also afraid of the wheel, but I think I should learn because it will give me more independence and confidence. 

I'm working more on my confidence levels this year. I'm confident in A LOT of things, but there are certain aspects of my life that need lots of improvement. I'm also a workaholic... so I tend to forget about other aspects of my life. After graduating, I dove into work life like a nutso weirdo. So, now, it's time to really balance out everything. I've been saying this for so long already, I'm ready to move on with the next part of my life. I'm hitting 30 soon and there are so many things i need to put together before then. It's not really about the age... it's the perception. I want to know that I'm reaching my turning points with a good heart and mind. I don't want to bring the crappy things from my past to my 30-39 chapters. I'm going to make sure I accomplish these 5 goals before the year ends. How exciting! 

It's been years since a lot of us hung out together in one place! It was so good to see these guys and have it seem like we were never apart. Haha. There are more of us but a lot weren't able to go, but it was still awesome. From cute lil' kids to adults who now share cigarettes and drink beer. Haha. But seriously, who can say they're still friends with the same people they went to kinder with because their parents created the bond between everyone? Who can say their parents jived so well back then, that they planned out of town trips every year when we were kids (that's 10+ families by the way... haha)? Well, we can. That's pretty damn awesome. 

Now that I think about it, it's pretty impressive what our parents were able to do. This all started when we were all attending a pre-school called ICBB back in 1991/92. According to my dear mother, there was this school play and a lot of us weren't part of it considering how small the school was. Our parents [apparently] invited the Principal out to some lunch and told her how disappointed they were that their kids weren't part of the play (plus other issues they had with the school). So, as a group / team, they pulled ALL of us out of ICBB and brought us to another pre-school (Ridgefield). This created a strong bond between all the parents and from then on, it was a MASSIVE group of families planning beach trips every summer. Haha. So, yah, we all literally grew up together. The parents are the god parents of whoever's kid. The kids became group mates throughout highschool. We're invited as a group to whatever event one person / family throws. It's pretty cool. We're a family. I'm sure of that. 25 years and going strong. Kudos to our families! 

It's a new year and that means it's a new chapter in all our lives. Can you believe we all survived 2015? How great is that, right?! I want to wish everyone a happy new year! May all your wishes, dreams, and goals be achieved this year because each and everyone of us deserves a fighting chance to be pillars in this world. We all deserve to be loved so, spread love. Set realistic goals that will feed your heart, mind, and soul. Do things that will prove your awesome existence! Whatever negative experiences you had in 2015, leave it all behind. Move on and take the chances that are right in front of you, no matter how difficult it gets. Keep going! Don't give up just yet. So many great things can happen this year, so move your asses to make it all happen! Find the happiness and joy that's waiting around the corner. 

2015 opened my eyes to so many things. For 2016, I wish to be more compassionate and loving towards the world and others. I wish I achieve my dream of working my way into being a successful designer. I wish to learn more about my craft. I wish to be able to travel with my best friend. I wish for more clients! I wish for more good friends and company! 

All the pain I felt in 2015, I will put it all behind. It's a new year and it's really time I make my way towards the things that will make me genuinely happy. Since I have some free time right now, I decided to really let go of the things that make me question myself and what I deserve. I believe in greater things so I will try my best into getting there. I refuse to allow people to bring me down easily. I deserve to fight for myself. I deserve to uncover greatness through experiencing hurt and pain. I want this year to be full of learning experiences. I wish the same for everyone. Happy New Year to all! Godspeed and love to all! 

2015 wasn't as exciting as my other years. However, it's the year I realized I'm more of a realist / idealist and believer. This only led to making sure I stand my ground and not give in to popular opinion. I definitely had mini-wars and debates with myself because I had to make sure I wasn't living as a close-minded fool. I get where I'm absolutely at and as the year ends, I realize my choice of lifestyle will probably lead me into having a much peaceful and controlled life. I love that. 

You see, this year, Life did throw me so many curve balls. Just when I thought my life was going according to plan, things changed and it dragged me down. At the beginning, I was controlling myself pretty well. I was making sure I wasn't going down some mental and emotional downward spiral. I was doing my best not to let out my frustrations on others. I was doing all I can not to breakdown. However, one really bad moment triggered all the sadness to come pouring out of me and it took me a while to climb back out and gain momentum back into my life. I finally reached out and asked for some support and help from my parents. I went out of my way to meet with friends, ask some advice, and allow them to make me laugh. I don't really go out on Sundays, but one of my good friends had a birthday party. So, instead of staying home, I went and I felt something I haven't felt in a long long time. I felt a sense of belonging. I loved socializing and meeting new people. I love testing grounds when it comes to who I am, especially when I'm outside of my house. I love making people laugh and hearing what they have to say. I love listening to other people's journeys and making sure they feel empowered and positive with the road they choose to take. I love making people feel loved and accepted for who they are. There's just so much things I forgot while I was feeling very sad. I'm so glad that I'm ending this year with a positive and hopeful heart and mind. 

At the end of the day, stand your ground. It's going to be difficult. It's going to kick your bum until your in so much pain. BUT. You're going to be okay. You need to believe in that and make sure you do all you can to make sure you come out stronger and better. It doesn't happen overnight, but you need it give it your all. You can't use 'things' to improve your personal growth. The answers are all within, so open up your mind and see the many possibilities. 

So, 2015, you weren't the best, but you taught me valuable lessons. Time to move on to 2016! I hope and pray for a very good year. A year where I can be more of myself and learn to love harder and better than I did in 2015. 

What an awesome way to end the year! The night before New Year's Eve, I went out with friends and made new friends! We all met up at our favorite hang out place, Rue Bourbon, at the Fort. We all got our favorite BIG ASS CARAMEL BEER. We laughed, talked about life, sang awesome songs, and drank the night away! I fell in love with a new bunch of people because of their spirit and story. I love having people with such positive energy! This really was a very fun and interesting night. I drank too much though. I woke up with body pains and a hang over. I have no idea why. Hahaha. It was totally worth.