Lego has always been one of my favorite things. Ergo, it's one of my passions. So now, i've made it a goal to buy one lego box per month to feed this lego-lovin' side that's always lived in me. I'm at 3/12 sets! I'm excited to make this collection grow because I can finally fulfill one of my long term dreams. Now, I can't wait until September comes around!
Another reason on why I want to do this is because I become motivated to get my life moving. When I have a hobby I'm totally passionate about, I feel unstoppable. Another lego means I did well in 1 month. It means I have enough income to sustain a hobby that excites me! I enjoy the feeling of rewarding myself with something that I love for doing a job well done.
Lego allows me to engage into my creative, playful, and imaginative side. It also exercises my skills. When I'm building these things, whether it's easy or advanced, I'm being myself. I'm in my realm and that makes me happy. I know I'm pretty tech savvy, but I want to know that I'm not always stuck on my phone or computer. I want to do things that push me into doing some kind of labor with just my hands. No technology. No cyber things. Just me and my hands... just like me with my pencil and paper. It makes me feel like I'm living for something more than what I see everyday. It makes me know that my brain is working with basics and I don't need a screen to be better at something. It makes me proud and happy to be alive.
Lastly, Lego makes me happy. It takes my mind away from my problems and stress. The building part doesn't last very long but the feelings stay for a very long time.
We probably don't talk often or at all. We probably met once and drunkly added each other in social media. We probably never even met. You must have heard about me from someone else. Whoever you are, I want you to know everything is going to be okay.
I know people can be cruel (really really cruel.) They're even worst when they think you're wrong. They'll make you feel you're not worth anything, They'll call you every bad thing in the book to make sure you know how they feel about you. They'll even gather troops to join them in their hate and you'll feel alone. You might even have thoughts of ending your life because of the pain, but please... don't do that. One thing I can tell you is don't be like them. If you did make a mistake, I'll tell you the same thing, It's going to be okay. Of course, you need to learn from your mistakes, but don't fight back. It's going to be your strongest weapon. All you need to think about is your well-being. Don't let them win your mind and heart. Don't become bitter. Remember, these people hurting you, they also have a story on why they think it's so important to try and take you down. You may not know it and it's really not your position to know, and that's okay. Let them be. It's always going to be okay. Life is so much than living in hate and aggression. Hope is your strongest suit. They may be pounding at your door, screaming hate towards your way, but keep in mind these people don't control a single part of your life. You have full control, so control what you say, do, and think. You can't change them, but you can change the way you look at things. You can't control the words that come out of their mouths, but you can control how you react to them. Seek help from people who will uplift you, not make you hate on the haters. Find a different perspective (an awesome one!).
You're stronger than you think. Don't give in to them. Ever. You'll be okay. I promise.
When I was younger, my parents would always tell me, "one day, you will understand." This would bother me because I didn't know why their way of making me feel better was to give me this cryptic saying that I couldn't understand. One day, I will understand... such great words towards the angsty teenager who was still trying to figure out life! Haha. But, yup, they were right. The 'ONE DAY' they kept talking about came around and today, I'm at a place where I finally understand because I experienced the fall.
I was cleaning my room around a week ago and I found this book called "Children's Letters to God". I bought it years ago. I flipped through it and this letter struck a chord in me. When I read this, I thought of the events and people who represent the stars in my life. I also thought of the events that tested the most valuable parts of me, like my self-worth, integrity, and dignity. Events that taught me lessons you can't learn in a classroom. People who taught me what life is really all about. People who allowed me to make mistake after mistake, but never gave up on me. So, I say, "God, it's great you always get the stars in the right places."
These people who I see as stars are beautiful, just like the real stars we see at night. They're beautiful because they are the ones who really inspire me. They are the ones who guided me through the toughest times. They keep me grounded. They fight back with love when I'm wrong. They care. How can I not see them as beautiful? How cheezeballs of me to say all these things, but I can't deny the truth when it's staring right at me.
What I'm really trying to say is all these events and people I see as stars came in at the right time. Some stars have died or moved on, but they all come and go at the right time. All my friends who I cherished and left taught me about my anger issues and how I need to control them (ALL THE TIME). All the events that lifted me up taught me how to stay strong and not give in to popular opinion. There are so many 'stars'. I don't regret anything. I'm truly amazed at how life turned out to be even if it gets hard from time to time. It's all so damn wonderful and I'm very grateful.
It's been long since I brought up the fall out between my friends and I, but earlier today, I was cleaning my "memory box" and I saw a lot of the photos/ letters/ snippets my ex-best friends gave me. I would be totally heartless if I said I didn't start missing the good ol' days.
I don't regret anything because I made a choice. I obviously learned from my mistakes, but there are many things that haven't changed (and I don't think it ever will.) Maybe one day my old friends will understand, especially the ones that mattered most, but until then, "the show goes on." Life goes on and it won't stop.
The fall out was all about facts and of course it blew up to endless proportions because of non-confrontational arguments and backstabbing. Aw man, it hurt like crazy! Back then, I thought life couldn't get any worse. I had to deactivate all my online accounts because that's what my therapist/psychologist advised me to do. I was off the grid for some time, but one day, I told myself, "what the hell, man. Bring it." Was it ego that drove me into getting back online? Nope. It was the epiphany. I searched so deep within myself and I really had to ask who am I? Where did I stand? etc. In conclusion, I shook and tested every foundation of my belief system and self-worth. What came out of it? I realized how tired I was of being angry. Your mind and body can only take so much and I knew (I TOTALLY 100% ABSOLUTELY KNEW) all the hate, pain, and anger that was going on was only making me weak. I remember opening up to my dad and he gave me one of the best advises a parent could give their kid. He said, "You are the only person who is in full control of your life." This opened up so much possibility and hope. I realized that the bullying and hate that was being given to me are only words. I had to stand up. I had to figure out a way on how to fight back. What did I figure out? Kindness. Kindness was the ultimate answer and wow, it changed my whole life.
Another thing that dawned upon me (and it's still proving itself right) was how age plays a role. I was 25 back then and now, I'm 27... the older you get the less time you have to deal with people's aggression. I guess I was at the turning point of knowing how bullying and insecurity were dumb. I use the word dumb because life doesn't wait around for you to man up. I had to accept that I was bullied so I always had this defense mechanism to make sure no one steps on me, but it gets old. It gets old fast. What did I learn? Forgiveness. These people can blame me and hate on me as hard as they can, but I know at the end of the day, I'm going to forgive them. I learned that Forgiveness is one of the most powerful keys to Happiness. I can't deny that because when I finally forgave them, I was able to shock myself with things I thought I could never accomplish. Then comes the understanding of who I genuinely was, I'm strong. I finally had the front row seat of who I was. I was able to stand up against them without ever saying one negative thing about them. I was able to move on and actually brought out the compassionate person that's always been inside of me. What happened? I'm happier when I give. Yup, this is exactly where I need to be.
Although, the #1 lesson is the best one, if you ask me. I promised I would never hate on anyone, no matter what they've pulled off because you have no idea what they're going through. It's never my business to know why someone can be so mean to another person, as long as I show sympathy. The truth is actually this - you don't have to be the negative mean one. It doesn't do anything, especially for you. All this led to me to not listen when someone is saying really mean things about someone else. I can take jokes here and there, but when people are deliberately trying to sabotage someone else, I walk away. It's become my life. Even on places like Facebook, I don't post or talk about people that way anymore (but it's a different story when it's nature and wildlife preservation! When it comes to the extinction, i'm going to speak up!).
I'm going to sound like a hippy when I say this... but I believe in Love and Kindness more than anything in this whole world. Thing is... I've always believed in those things, but I was too angry with the world to take action. People will always have the chance to change and be better and the person has FULL CONTROL over it. You don't need anyone's approval. Now, I'm nodding and telling myself, "dude, I'm hella proud of you."
ONE WORD: AMAZING.
I was given the opportunity to be part of something amazing and I'm soooo grateful for all of it! I was able to meet and talk to so many awesome people who are passionately driven. I was able to learn and share ideas. I was able to listen to amazing talks given by people who believed in something and made it a reality. I was taught techniques in the web, tech, and design industry. I was able to experience my love and passion for this art with people who understand the dream. It was all so amazing! I also got to explore a city on my own. I discovered the culture and how people stay fit in Hong Kong... those uphill-downhill streets are crazy... hahaha. I survived with only a backpack. There's a lot to learn when you travel.
The best part of attending RISE was witnessing the passion every single person had about their business. Hearing them pitch their idea and how people were willing to collaborate. It was an eye-opening experience. This was the first time I attended a conference like this so the exposure was excellent!